teach me
passwords are for pussies
Instead of going the east route and accepting my daddy internship to china I’ve applied to several other internahips for the end of the year. Begun to apply, rather. I’ve asked older people starting with my brother, what type of “odd” jobs I can get with a general degree like mine. It’s interesting once you’ve dug in you don’t want to stop? 
so glad this week is starting on a good note. I don’t feel so good about how I just went with the flow last week. Organisation and proaction is the way to go!
Given my experiences with church and people from church recently, it is a little strange for me to be writing this but I’m going ahead anyway.
In quietness and trust, there are still times I feel like I want to return everything given to me. All the blessings, the love. My family. The wonderful experiences, bittersweet. In the storm that rages above, and sometimes within, Ungrateful wants to throw in the towel and ask God to tale it all back. Why, why? Why am I chosen to hold this great responsibility?I want to hang loose like others of the world, you know?
But Beautiful is our God, indeed. We should rejoice in what he has given (and taken away).. For He is sovereign and yet so merciful. How can we want to live like this? When we are given the choice to live as heirs, a royal priesthood called righteously, as Heaven were on earth?
Oh, my soul is in torment for so many sins- yet they are no longer! Amen?!
Renew your mind refresh your spirit so that holiness may follow you the rest of your days girl.
fairy tales and white horses..
or not?
I’ve been eating out a lot lately and expenditure is really going crazy… i keep telling myself next week will be better but will it?
on another note, people have been asking me a lot of late, “So, Sheryl what do u want to do next time?”
?!@#@#$ ??????????!!! is my immediate thought.
i really don’t know!
it’s a bad excuse but one of the reasons why i am so passion-less about my current course is basically, because i am so passion-less a-bout my course! it’s nothing that i really want to do! not at the moment at least! it’s not aligned with my aspirations, if i have any, or at least what i believe in or hope to do believe in or hope to do.
sigh.
so how? slow and steady? have a think about it?
i used to want to be a psychologist when i was a kid that was just for a while. i think i wanted to be an evil psychiatrist and play with my patients.. but then i realised i should really try to do good. seriously. i mean if i’m not going to make a lot of money why not try to *clears throat* “make a difference” haha. gosh this is getting too much. really sheryl? are u serious? then why are u doing commerce? i promise you, i really hated the thought of doing business. i NEVER in my life before i was in commerce thought i’d be doing it. i thought that the thought of studying business to make lots of money was evil.
but to be practical i thought i should do it.
and many regrets i now have.
ok maybe i did like the idea of advertising when i was in secondary school but that was a LONG time ago! now i just feel jaded to every field. nothing really stands out to me.
what to do?
i don’t really know what to do about myself nowadays, just like i don’t know what to write nowadays.
What a beautiful day it is outside.
